Peer Pressure
*omit if not age-appropriate
"Happy the man who follows not the counsel of the wicked. Nor walks in the way of sinners, nor sits in the company of the insolent, But delights in the law of the Lord and mediates on his law day and night." Psalms 1:1-2
Peer pressure is when you act a certain way because you want to fit in and be accepted by certain people. The pressure comes from your peers, it comes from the media, and it's all around us. Usually we give in to peer pressure from our friends and from the world in order to fit in with certain people and to feel like we belong. You try and behave in certain ways in order to get along with people and blend in with the crowd. You usually have a choice of how you will act. If you decide to do your own thing, you might get laughed at or talked about or shunned. Others may only tease or ridicule you to get you to do the wrong thing and try to do what they want you to do. Nobody wants to be the person who gets talked about or laughed at.
Sometimes the pressure that you feel involves superficial things, like dressing a certain way to be considered cool. You have to have the name-brand clothes or shoes. Or maybe the pressure involves doing things that you think everyone else is doing. Or maybe the pressure involves doing something illegal like drugs or drinking under age. Maybe your friends were in on something and you went along and joined in because you didn't want them to think that you were scared. Or maybe you were the one who convinced one of your friends into doing something wrong. So there's no mistaking, you sometimes feel pressure from our friends.
So why does it seem so important for you to fit in and be accepted? It is probably because you want to belong to something. You want to feel chosen like being picked on a team...feeling as good as everyone else for not being the last person chosen. You want to be part of the "in"crowd but the "in"crowd may not be the crowd you should be with. But then on top of that, you may also get caught up in what the world says is important. The world stresses to us that we have to look a certain way to be cool. The world's value system revolves around money and status. There are going to be times when you have to make a choice. Are you going to choose your peers or what God would have you do? Are you going to choose what the world says is important or what God's Word tells you is important?
Even though to us this might sound like something small, as Catholic Christians we should know that if we don't stand for Christ in the small things, then we are only fooling ourselves if we think we will persevere and be able to stand when really put to the test. The Devil is smart and can trick you. You'll be tempted with, "Why don't you just take a sip of beer just to taste it. What's the harm?" He will say, "Everybody's doing it. It's 'in' to get high" and the next thing you know you're an alcoholic or into drugs.
But, unfortunately, sometimes you lose focus of who you really are because it becomes more important to you just to fit in. So peer pressure happens, basically, when you lose focus. Instead of focusing on God and listening to God's voice and being in touch with what God is trying to do in your life, you start looking at those people around you. Then you start worrying about what other people do and what other people think that you let other people influence your actions. If you are someone who blends in too easily with the crowd and you are comfortable being in the company of friends who don't respect or honor God, you will be influenced by them.
You can even miss out on what God is trying to do with your life. So peer pressure happens when instead of going forward towards God, you get stuck trying to fit in with the world. But if you are smart, you will eventually realize that there is no way to please the world, so why are you even trying? No matter what you do, there is going to be someone who wants to put you down. If you are really smart, they will say you think you know it all. If you are good looking, someone is going to say that you are stuck up or conceited. If you are really thin or really heavy, someone will call you an unflattering nickname.
And do you think in the end when you die and face God on Judgment Day, will your peers matter then? God is not going to look at you and say, "Oh, you have on name-brand clothes. Come on in." "Oh, you had much respect in your neighborhood. I'm impressed." When you die, will you end up in Hell with Satan and those other people who never cared about God, or will Jesus step up and say, "He's on my team. He chose me, and I died for him." Don't you realize that no matter what you look like, whether you have nice clothes or not, Christ is willing to say, "I'll take him." What do your so-called friends have to offer that compares with that?
As you know now, peer pressure sometimes shows itself by the way you act a certain way because you want to blend in and be accepted by a certain group of people. But sometimes you can fold under peer pressure not so much by what you do, but by the things that you don't do. For example, when you don't speak up even though something is going on that you know isn't right. Or maybe it shows itself just in your conversations. *For example, while in the locker room, the conversation turns to dirty jokes or sexual comments about girls that, as a Catholic Christian, you know are inappropriate, but instead of voicing your opinion against such talk, you just smile as though you think it's funny. Did you know that whenever you don't take a stand for your Catholic Christian beliefs and instead you just go along with anything and everything that this world says is okay, then you are giving in to peer pressure?
If you are a true follower of Christ, you should carry yourself in such a way that you are making God proud of you, not saddened by you. Is God proud of you when you are cussing up a storm with your friends, watching R-rated films, *watching sex and violence TV? I bet that breaks God's heart. Even though He knows that we are going to do it, I bet it saddens Him greatly when we let the world influence our actions and we desert Him.
Peter denied knowing Christ three times around Jesus' death. Peter went from being someone who at first gave in to worldly pressure, to ultimately becoming someone God used in a mighty way. And God can do the same for you, but you have to make a choice: Jesus or the world. Is there a time when you should have stood up for someone, but instead you went along with the crowd? Have you ever denied Christ by your words or actions because it was more important for you to be comfortable around your friends? And fortunately for us, God is so good that even when we've denied Him in the past and given in to the temptation of this world, he will still give us another chance. But only if you sincerely admit your mistakes, ask his forgiveness in confession, and turn away from sin.
You don't need to please the wrong types and give into the pressure; just please the Lord and fix your attention on Him and don't take your eyes off Him. Recognize what God wants from you and then you can respond to Him. You don't have to go along with someone who doesn't care if something is right or wrong or care that it may hurt someone. You just need to keep doing what is right and not worry what others think. If you truly love the Lord, then don't follow Christ from a distance. Don't deny Christ by your actions. Read your Bible daily (the 4 Gospels are a good place to start). Pray daily. Wherever the pressure comes from, avoid that situation! And surround yourself with people who will help you to grow in your faith. Stop being a coward trying to please other people rather than standing up for Jesus Christ. You can stop living like the rest of the world and start being a true follower of Christ!
But you know what? If you call yourself a follower of Christ, you are not supposed to even care what is going on with everybody else, let alone try to go along with it. And in the end, people will respect you more if you stand up for what you believe in. Jesus will turn things around to where even your enemies will be at peace with you. The way to reach people isn't by coming down to their level. It is by holding your head up high and standing your ground. Your friends may come around when they see us live lives that honor God and when we refuse to bow down to peer pressure. And what about you? Wouldn't you rather be special and unique and blessed by God instead of being just another face in the crowd? We are supposed to stand out from the crowd. Show that they weren't interested in being like everybody else. Live your life in such a way that shows that Jesus is the only one you care about fitting in with and impressing.
You are the sum total of the choices you make. With every choice you reveal what you actually believe. There really is no confusion in figuring out who a person is and what he or she really believes...simply look at his or her choices!
Every decision tou make either brings us closer to God and His design for our lives, or moves you further from Him and His design. Every choice is filled with opportunities for growth or for stepping backward. There are a lot of voices to which you can respond when making choices. Each voice comes from something or someone who wants you on their side. Remember, God is calling you to choose. Which voice are you going to respond to most often in your life? Are you going to listen to those other 'gods' who are calling for you to follow them, or are you going to tune into God's frequency and follow His voice? As you think about your life today, remember how God has loved you and guided you faithfully. Then as each voice comes and wants you on thier team, choose to follow the voice that leads you onto a path of holiness.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
Lust vs. Chastity (Purity)
Lust vs. Chastity (Purity)
"Like an open city with no defenses is the man with no check on his feelings. Proverbs 25:28
"This is the will of God, your holiness: that you refrain from immorality, that each of you knows how to acquire a wife for himself in holiness and honor, not in lustful passion" 1 Thess. 4:3-5a
"For the love of money is the root of all evils." 1 Timothy 6:10 (a)
"For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, virtue with knowledge, knowledge with self-control, self-control with endurance, endurance with devotion, devotion with mutual affection, mutual affection with love." 2 Peter 1:5-7
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." Philippians 4:8
Lust is the self-destructive drive for physical pleasure or for material possessions. It is an excessive love for something that you either shouldn't love or not love as much as you do. It is really about control. Lust is worshiping or idolizing anything material above God. Instead of putting your hope in God for your joy, you put all your hope in money or material things for your happiness. These things are needed to make you feel good, so lusting after things like money is what is really evil. It also can be the desire of power, financial gain, revenge, having an ego (self-importance) or treating someone like scum or a servant to accomplish your own personal will.
Sexual excitement without love is lust and is immoral. Prolonged sexual fantasies are desires that seek to use people and things with the intent of satisfying your own needs and desires. Using a person just as a means of sexual gratification instead of treating a person with respect and dignity and as a child of God is wrong and a serious sin.
Sexual promiscuity and immoral practices turns a person into an animal. It's thinking you can use your body as you see fit and that you're not hurting anyone. It is dominating another person or having an attraction turn into a conquest. Sexual desire is not only a physical attraction but emotional or mental as well. It can not only be a physical attraction but you can even being attracted to someone's mind or demeanor. Lust of the eyes and the flesh lead to sexual sins. Looking at nude pictures or treating or seeing a person as a sexual object does not respect them as a full person with a personality and a soul. You must have self-control and self-discipline to avoid premarital sex, perverse sex, pornography, adultery, homosexuality, and prostitution.
Chastity is innocence and purity in body and soul. Purity is keeping yourself uncontaminated from the world, the flesh and the devil. It is the ability to keep your mind and heart from bad thoughts, desires and feelings. It helps you to guard your senses as well as your own body and those of others as a temple of the Holy Spirit. It is also being chaste in your behavior, manner of clothing and appearance and reflecting your love for God. The purpose of God's creation of sexual feelings was for procreation of humankind. Losing your virginity outside of marriage is sinful and will ruin your reputation. You are called to holiness. Inappropriate images in video games, movies and TV shows can lead to having disordered desires. They can leave mental images in you that can lead to impure thoughts and actions. You can be tempted by dirty magazines and pornography on the Internet.
You can practice romantic courtship and friendship and abstain from sexual conduct if in an unmarried state. You need to try and keep a pure heart and be strong to avoid this sin. Serving your personal desires sets your will against God's. You must develop the ability to refrain from being distracted and influenced by temptation. Self-control is controlling our actions to do what is right. The Holy Spirit will help you do what is right. When you hear Him and obey what He says, you are using your gift of self-control.
Joseph faced a lot of different temptations from Potiphar's wife to thoughts of revenge on the brothers that sold him into slavery. Yet Joseph never wavered in his devotion to the Lord. His actions were always defined by his relationship and faith in God. When he turned down Potiphar's wife, it was with the words, "How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?"
We can all learn lessons from Joseph's self-control. It is so easy today to give into the temptations that you face. Sometimes it is more difficult to walk away from temptation than to give into it. After all, there is so much peer pressure to drink, have sex, do drugs, not go to church, and more. God will eventually reward your self-control and help you to overcome temptations.
"Like an open city with no defenses is the man with no check on his feelings. Proverbs 25:28
"This is the will of God, your holiness: that you refrain from immorality, that each of you knows how to acquire a wife for himself in holiness and honor, not in lustful passion" 1 Thess. 4:3-5a
"For the love of money is the root of all evils." 1 Timothy 6:10 (a)
"For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, virtue with knowledge, knowledge with self-control, self-control with endurance, endurance with devotion, devotion with mutual affection, mutual affection with love." 2 Peter 1:5-7
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." Philippians 4:8
Lust is the self-destructive drive for physical pleasure or for material possessions. It is an excessive love for something that you either shouldn't love or not love as much as you do. It is really about control. Lust is worshiping or idolizing anything material above God. Instead of putting your hope in God for your joy, you put all your hope in money or material things for your happiness. These things are needed to make you feel good, so lusting after things like money is what is really evil. It also can be the desire of power, financial gain, revenge, having an ego (self-importance) or treating someone like scum or a servant to accomplish your own personal will.
Sexual excitement without love is lust and is immoral. Prolonged sexual fantasies are desires that seek to use people and things with the intent of satisfying your own needs and desires. Using a person just as a means of sexual gratification instead of treating a person with respect and dignity and as a child of God is wrong and a serious sin.
Sexual promiscuity and immoral practices turns a person into an animal. It's thinking you can use your body as you see fit and that you're not hurting anyone. It is dominating another person or having an attraction turn into a conquest. Sexual desire is not only a physical attraction but emotional or mental as well. It can not only be a physical attraction but you can even being attracted to someone's mind or demeanor. Lust of the eyes and the flesh lead to sexual sins. Looking at nude pictures or treating or seeing a person as a sexual object does not respect them as a full person with a personality and a soul. You must have self-control and self-discipline to avoid premarital sex, perverse sex, pornography, adultery, homosexuality, and prostitution.
Chastity is innocence and purity in body and soul. Purity is keeping yourself uncontaminated from the world, the flesh and the devil. It is the ability to keep your mind and heart from bad thoughts, desires and feelings. It helps you to guard your senses as well as your own body and those of others as a temple of the Holy Spirit. It is also being chaste in your behavior, manner of clothing and appearance and reflecting your love for God. The purpose of God's creation of sexual feelings was for procreation of humankind. Losing your virginity outside of marriage is sinful and will ruin your reputation. You are called to holiness. Inappropriate images in video games, movies and TV shows can lead to having disordered desires. They can leave mental images in you that can lead to impure thoughts and actions. You can be tempted by dirty magazines and pornography on the Internet.
You can practice romantic courtship and friendship and abstain from sexual conduct if in an unmarried state. You need to try and keep a pure heart and be strong to avoid this sin. Serving your personal desires sets your will against God's. You must develop the ability to refrain from being distracted and influenced by temptation. Self-control is controlling our actions to do what is right. The Holy Spirit will help you do what is right. When you hear Him and obey what He says, you are using your gift of self-control.
Joseph faced a lot of different temptations from Potiphar's wife to thoughts of revenge on the brothers that sold him into slavery. Yet Joseph never wavered in his devotion to the Lord. His actions were always defined by his relationship and faith in God. When he turned down Potiphar's wife, it was with the words, "How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?"
We can all learn lessons from Joseph's self-control. It is so easy today to give into the temptations that you face. Sometimes it is more difficult to walk away from temptation than to give into it. After all, there is so much peer pressure to drink, have sex, do drugs, not go to church, and more. God will eventually reward your self-control and help you to overcome temptations.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Wrath (Anger) vs. Patience (Meekness)
Wrath (Anger) vs. Patience (Meekness)
Deadly Sin vs. Heavenly Virtue/Fruit of the Holy Spirit
"… for the wrath of a man does not accomplish the righteousness of God." James 1:20
"The fool immediately shows his anger, but the shrewd man passes over an insult." Proverbs 12:16
"The quick-tempered man makes a fool of himself, but the prudent man is at peace." Proverbs 14:17
"The patient man shows much good sense, but the quick-tempered man displays folly at its height." Proverbs 14:29
"A mild answer calms wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Proverbs 15:1
"An ill-tempered man stirs up strife, but a patient man allays discord." Proverbs 15:18
"A patient man is better than a warrior, and he who rules his temper, than he who takes a city." Proverbs 16:32
"It is honorable for a man to shun strife, while every fool starts a quarrel." Proverbs 20:3
"Like golden apples in silver settings are words spoken at the proper time." Proverbs 25:11
"Like an open city with no defenses is the man with no check on his feelings." Proverbs 25:28
"The fool gives vent to all his anger; but by biding his time, the wise man calms it." Proverbs 29:11
"An ill-tempered man stirs up disputes, and a hotheaded man is the cause of many sins." Proverbs 29:22
The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, and factions (Galatians 5:19-20).
"Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun set on your anger, and do not leave room for the devil." Ephesians 4:26-7
"All bitterness, fury, anger, shouting, and reviling must be removed from you, along with all malice." Ephesians 4:31
"Know this my dear brothers: everyone should be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath, for the wrath of a man does not accomplish the righteousness of God." James 1:19-20
"Do not return evil for evil, or insult with insult; but, on the contrary, a blessing, because to this you were called, that you might inherit a blessing." 1 Peter 3:9
"Leave it to the Lord and wait for him; Be not vexed at the successful path of the man who does malicious deeds. Give up your anger, and forsake wrath; be not vexed, it will only harm you. For evildoers shall be cut off, but those who wait for the Lord shall possess the land.” Psalms 37:7-9
"Be patient, therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient with it until it receives the early and the late rains. You too must be patient. Make your hearts firm, because of the coming of the Lord is at hand. James 5:7-8
"… strengthened with every power, in accordance with his glorious might, for all endurance and patience, with joy," Colossians 1:11
"It is good sense in a man to be slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense." Proverbs 19:11
"Better is the patient spirit than the lofty spirit." Ecclesiastes 7:8 b
Wrath is senseless anger. It causes you to be irritated and intentionally want to cause harm to others. It is when you want revenge or to get even when you feel someone is not treating you fairly. Wrath or anger can strike when you are tired or frustrated. There are days you may find it hard to be loving. You can become angry with the very people we love the most. When someone is not nice, you shouldn't repay one bad deed with another bad deed. You shouldn't take the matter into your own hands but leave the justice to God. You should fill your heart with love and not anger.
God commands us to forgive those who sin against us. This doesn't mean you have to forget about the offense against or ignore the pain that it has caused you. You just need to choose to let go of the wrong that was committed and move on without seeking revenge. You need to take responsibility for your own actions and Jesus asks us to love the sinner but to hate the sin. You shouldn't keep your anger in but turn it into something positive instead. Angry people usually justify their anger, saying it's someone else's fault they are angry. We shouldn't give into anger when we are upset by other people's words or actions. When we give in to anger, we often focus on our own well being, comfort or happiness. Instead, we should be first and foremost concerned about other people’s welfare and being a good witness for God. God does not want us to simply react emotionally to others' actions. God is the judge and will take care of others. Instead, we should respond with a gentle spirit or find a way to turn the situation around for the betterment of everyone concerned.
Patience is the ability to be calm (have control of your emotions), tolerant (kind and considerate to the people different from you) and understanding (putting yourself in another person's shoes). Patience is a type of meekness and selflessness that avoids harming others. Sometimes you may feel that the hardest thing to do is to wait. Waiting your turn in line can be extremely difficult especially when you are excited and in a hurry. You usually know what you want and when you want it which is usually right now. But the right time for things to happen in your life is determined by God and not by us. He will help you in His own time and according to His own plan and he will eventually reveal what He has in store for you. In other words, you must wait for God to make His plans clear.
Are you patient when someone else is unhappy? God wants you to choose not to get angry or upset with yourself and others when things are not going your way. You should also watch out for the feelings of others. You can choose not to get upset because God gave us this wonderful gift of Holy Spirit to help you with this.
Patience is the ability to remain calm in difficult situations. When you are patient, you will have better relationships since you will have tolerance for others’ shortcomings, and able to forgive when someone wrongs you. It can be hard to wait when we want something right NOW and so much harder not to complain about it. We live in a society that promotes instant gratification. The wait on things can be frustrating. After all, you want that guy to ask you out right now. Or you want that car so you can go to the movies tonight. Or you want that great skateboard you saw in the magazine. Advertising tells us that the "now" matters. Yet, there is something to the saying, "Good things come to those who wait." We shouldn't want everything right now because things/tasks can take more time than we thought. You must take your turn, wait for your friend or wait to go somewhere. It may take a lot of practice. If you can just put the needs and wants of others ahead of you, you'll get better at being patient.
We don't always understand why God says "no" to our prayers. You also might not want to wait on God to do something. He wants you to trust Him. He wants you to use the gift of patience as we love Jesus, others and, yes, even yourself, with His special love. God has His own timing so you need to wait on that timing or sometimes our blessings get lost. We cannot know all of His ways, so it is important to have trust in the delay. Eventually what will come your way will be better than you ever thought it could be, because it will come with God's blessings. God will help you gain the patience and the strength to wait for the things He desires for you. Allow Him to work in your heart to provide you with the patience you need.
When you lose your temper, you want to strike out at others with an intention to hurt them and say and do things you shouldn't. So when you are tempted to say unkind words or start an argument, you should learn to slow down and think about things before you do them. After all, you can't take words back. If you blurt out the first words that come into your head, you may say the wrong thing. God wants you to choose your words carefully or you will regret it later and may even lose a friend. You can ask yourself before you speak, if what you say is necessary, true and kind.
Frustration can lead to anger and then even worse, rage and bitterness can follow. Anger may be good for identifying problems but not the answer to solving them. But as you know, the feelings of anger will pass.
You need to take responsibility for your own actions and not blame your hurtful responses on someone else. Stepping back and taking a break from the situation to be alone can be very helpful in managing your anger. This gives you the chance to calm down, think over the happening and determine what to do next. If your response is to act out or attack, you may just need to take a deep breath and leave the room to clean out your anger tank. You can talk about it after you settle down so no mean words will be exchanged. This way you can think more clearly and get a better handle on your emotions to control your anger. Thinking how bad it could have been and expanding your view of the others perspective or thinking of someone who is dealing with a difficult situation can ease the anger. You can try praying, singing a song (in their head); read a favorite passage of Scripture or a "feel-good" wise saying; go for a run, count backwards, call someone to vent or just to just shift your focus and get redirected. Or use grace by serving the object of your wrath a cool glass of water – then have one yourself while you're at it. Inhale slowly, hold your breath for five seconds, then completely exhale slowly and wait five seconds before repeating the inhale and exhale three times...this can at least reduce your pulse rate and lower blood pressure. You may need to try again and start over, adjust your attitude, accept your instruction and remain calm and not blow up. It takes a lot of patience, prayer, self-control and self discipline to get over your anger quickly, channel it into different areas or express it at a different time.
Deadly Sin vs. Heavenly Virtue/Fruit of the Holy Spirit
"… for the wrath of a man does not accomplish the righteousness of God." James 1:20
"The fool immediately shows his anger, but the shrewd man passes over an insult." Proverbs 12:16
"The quick-tempered man makes a fool of himself, but the prudent man is at peace." Proverbs 14:17
"The patient man shows much good sense, but the quick-tempered man displays folly at its height." Proverbs 14:29
"A mild answer calms wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Proverbs 15:1
"An ill-tempered man stirs up strife, but a patient man allays discord." Proverbs 15:18
"A patient man is better than a warrior, and he who rules his temper, than he who takes a city." Proverbs 16:32
"It is honorable for a man to shun strife, while every fool starts a quarrel." Proverbs 20:3
"Like golden apples in silver settings are words spoken at the proper time." Proverbs 25:11
"Like an open city with no defenses is the man with no check on his feelings." Proverbs 25:28
"The fool gives vent to all his anger; but by biding his time, the wise man calms it." Proverbs 29:11
"An ill-tempered man stirs up disputes, and a hotheaded man is the cause of many sins." Proverbs 29:22
The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, and factions (Galatians 5:19-20).
"Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun set on your anger, and do not leave room for the devil." Ephesians 4:26-7
"All bitterness, fury, anger, shouting, and reviling must be removed from you, along with all malice." Ephesians 4:31
"Know this my dear brothers: everyone should be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath, for the wrath of a man does not accomplish the righteousness of God." James 1:19-20
"Do not return evil for evil, or insult with insult; but, on the contrary, a blessing, because to this you were called, that you might inherit a blessing." 1 Peter 3:9
"Leave it to the Lord and wait for him; Be not vexed at the successful path of the man who does malicious deeds. Give up your anger, and forsake wrath; be not vexed, it will only harm you. For evildoers shall be cut off, but those who wait for the Lord shall possess the land.” Psalms 37:7-9
"Be patient, therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient with it until it receives the early and the late rains. You too must be patient. Make your hearts firm, because of the coming of the Lord is at hand. James 5:7-8
"… strengthened with every power, in accordance with his glorious might, for all endurance and patience, with joy," Colossians 1:11
"It is good sense in a man to be slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense." Proverbs 19:11
"Better is the patient spirit than the lofty spirit." Ecclesiastes 7:8 b
Wrath is senseless anger. It causes you to be irritated and intentionally want to cause harm to others. It is when you want revenge or to get even when you feel someone is not treating you fairly. Wrath or anger can strike when you are tired or frustrated. There are days you may find it hard to be loving. You can become angry with the very people we love the most. When someone is not nice, you shouldn't repay one bad deed with another bad deed. You shouldn't take the matter into your own hands but leave the justice to God. You should fill your heart with love and not anger.
God commands us to forgive those who sin against us. This doesn't mean you have to forget about the offense against or ignore the pain that it has caused you. You just need to choose to let go of the wrong that was committed and move on without seeking revenge. You need to take responsibility for your own actions and Jesus asks us to love the sinner but to hate the sin. You shouldn't keep your anger in but turn it into something positive instead. Angry people usually justify their anger, saying it's someone else's fault they are angry. We shouldn't give into anger when we are upset by other people's words or actions. When we give in to anger, we often focus on our own well being, comfort or happiness. Instead, we should be first and foremost concerned about other people’s welfare and being a good witness for God. God does not want us to simply react emotionally to others' actions. God is the judge and will take care of others. Instead, we should respond with a gentle spirit or find a way to turn the situation around for the betterment of everyone concerned.
Patience is the ability to be calm (have control of your emotions), tolerant (kind and considerate to the people different from you) and understanding (putting yourself in another person's shoes). Patience is a type of meekness and selflessness that avoids harming others. Sometimes you may feel that the hardest thing to do is to wait. Waiting your turn in line can be extremely difficult especially when you are excited and in a hurry. You usually know what you want and when you want it which is usually right now. But the right time for things to happen in your life is determined by God and not by us. He will help you in His own time and according to His own plan and he will eventually reveal what He has in store for you. In other words, you must wait for God to make His plans clear.
Are you patient when someone else is unhappy? God wants you to choose not to get angry or upset with yourself and others when things are not going your way. You should also watch out for the feelings of others. You can choose not to get upset because God gave us this wonderful gift of Holy Spirit to help you with this.
Patience is the ability to remain calm in difficult situations. When you are patient, you will have better relationships since you will have tolerance for others’ shortcomings, and able to forgive when someone wrongs you. It can be hard to wait when we want something right NOW and so much harder not to complain about it. We live in a society that promotes instant gratification. The wait on things can be frustrating. After all, you want that guy to ask you out right now. Or you want that car so you can go to the movies tonight. Or you want that great skateboard you saw in the magazine. Advertising tells us that the "now" matters. Yet, there is something to the saying, "Good things come to those who wait." We shouldn't want everything right now because things/tasks can take more time than we thought. You must take your turn, wait for your friend or wait to go somewhere. It may take a lot of practice. If you can just put the needs and wants of others ahead of you, you'll get better at being patient.
We don't always understand why God says "no" to our prayers. You also might not want to wait on God to do something. He wants you to trust Him. He wants you to use the gift of patience as we love Jesus, others and, yes, even yourself, with His special love. God has His own timing so you need to wait on that timing or sometimes our blessings get lost. We cannot know all of His ways, so it is important to have trust in the delay. Eventually what will come your way will be better than you ever thought it could be, because it will come with God's blessings. God will help you gain the patience and the strength to wait for the things He desires for you. Allow Him to work in your heart to provide you with the patience you need.
When you lose your temper, you want to strike out at others with an intention to hurt them and say and do things you shouldn't. So when you are tempted to say unkind words or start an argument, you should learn to slow down and think about things before you do them. After all, you can't take words back. If you blurt out the first words that come into your head, you may say the wrong thing. God wants you to choose your words carefully or you will regret it later and may even lose a friend. You can ask yourself before you speak, if what you say is necessary, true and kind.
Frustration can lead to anger and then even worse, rage and bitterness can follow. Anger may be good for identifying problems but not the answer to solving them. But as you know, the feelings of anger will pass.
You need to take responsibility for your own actions and not blame your hurtful responses on someone else. Stepping back and taking a break from the situation to be alone can be very helpful in managing your anger. This gives you the chance to calm down, think over the happening and determine what to do next. If your response is to act out or attack, you may just need to take a deep breath and leave the room to clean out your anger tank. You can talk about it after you settle down so no mean words will be exchanged. This way you can think more clearly and get a better handle on your emotions to control your anger. Thinking how bad it could have been and expanding your view of the others perspective or thinking of someone who is dealing with a difficult situation can ease the anger. You can try praying, singing a song (in their head); read a favorite passage of Scripture or a "feel-good" wise saying; go for a run, count backwards, call someone to vent or just to just shift your focus and get redirected. Or use grace by serving the object of your wrath a cool glass of water – then have one yourself while you're at it. Inhale slowly, hold your breath for five seconds, then completely exhale slowly and wait five seconds before repeating the inhale and exhale three times...this can at least reduce your pulse rate and lower blood pressure. You may need to try again and start over, adjust your attitude, accept your instruction and remain calm and not blow up. It takes a lot of patience, prayer, self-control and self discipline to get over your anger quickly, channel it into different areas or express it at a different time.
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