Peer Pressure

Peer Pressure

*omit if not age-appropriate

"Happy the man who follows not the counsel of the wicked.  Nor walks in the way of sinners, nor sits in the company of the insolent, But delights in the law of the Lord and mediates on his law day and night." Psalms 1:1-2

Peer pressure is when you act a certain way because you want to fit in and be accepted by certain people. The pressure comes from your peers, it comes from the media, and it's all around us.  Usually we give in to peer pressure from our friends and from the world in order to fit in with certain people and to feel like we belong. You try and behave in certain ways in order to get along with people and blend in with the crowd. You usually have a choice of how you will act. If you decide to do your own thing, you might get laughed at or talked about or shunned. Others may only tease or ridicule you to get you to do the wrong thing and try to do what they want you to do.  Nobody wants to be the person who gets talked about or laughed at.

Sometimes the pressure that you feel involves superficial things, like dressing a certain way to be considered cool. You have to have the name-brand clothes or shoes. Or maybe the pressure involves doing things that you think everyone else is doing. Or maybe the pressure involves doing something illegal like drugs or drinking under age. Maybe your friends were in on something and you went along and joined in because you didn't want them to think that you were scared. Or maybe you were the one who convinced one of your friends into doing something wrong. So there's no mistaking, you sometimes feel pressure from our friends.

So why does it seem so important for you to fit in and be accepted? It is probably because you want to belong to something. You want to feel chosen like being picked on a team...feeling  as good as everyone else for not being the last person chosen.  You want to be part of the "in"crowd but the "in"crowd may not be the crowd you should be with.  But then on top of that, you may also get caught up in what the world says is important. The world stresses to us that we have to look a certain way to be cool. The world's value system revolves around money and status.  There are going to be times when you have to make a choice. Are you going to choose your peers or what God would have you do? Are you going to choose what the world says is important or what God's Word tells you is important? 

Even though to us this might sound like something small, as Catholic Christians we should know that if we don't stand for Christ in the small things, then we are only fooling ourselves if we think we will persevere and be able to stand when really put to the test. The Devil is smart and can trick you. You'll be tempted with, "Why don't you just take a sip of beer just to taste it. What's the harm?" He will say, "Everybody's doing it. It's 'in' to get high" and the next thing you know you're an alcoholic or into drugs.

But, unfortunately, sometimes you lose focus of who you really are because it becomes more important to you just to fit in. So peer pressure happens, basically, when you lose focus. Instead of focusing on God and listening to God's voice and being in touch with what God is trying to do in your life, you start looking at those people around you. Then you start worrying about what other people do and what other people think that you let other people influence your actions. If you are someone who blends in too easily with the crowd and you are comfortable being in the company of friends who don't respect or honor God, you will be influenced by them. 

You can even miss out on what God is trying to do with your life. So peer pressure happens when instead of going forward towards God, you get stuck trying to fit in with the world.  But if you are smart, you will eventually realize that there is no way to please the world, so why are you even trying? No matter what you do, there is going to be someone who wants to put you down. If you are really smart, they will say you think you know it all. If you are good looking, someone is going to say that you are stuck up or conceited. If you are really thin or really heavy, someone will call you an unflattering nickname.

And do you think in the end when you die and face God on Judgment Day, will your peers matter then? God is not going to look at you and say, "Oh, you have on name-brand clothes. Come on in." "Oh, you had much respect in your neighborhood. I'm impressed." When you die, will you end up in Hell with Satan and those other people who never cared about God, or will Jesus step up and say, "He's on my team. He chose me, and I died for him." Don't you realize that no matter what you look like, whether you have nice clothes or not, Christ is willing to say, "I'll take him." What do your so-called friends have to offer that compares with that?

As you know now, peer pressure sometimes shows itself by the way you act a certain way because you want to blend in and be accepted by a certain group of people. But sometimes you can  fold under peer pressure not so much by what you do, but by the things that you don't do. For example, when you don't speak up even though something is going on that you know isn't right. Or maybe it shows itself just in your conversations. *For example, while in the locker room, the conversation turns to dirty jokes or sexual comments about girls that, as a Catholic Christian, you know are inappropriate, but instead of voicing your opinion against such talk, you just smile as though you think it's funny.  Did you know that whenever you don't take a stand for your Catholic Christian beliefs and instead you just go along with anything and everything that this world says is okay, then you are giving in to peer pressure?

If you are a true follower of Christ, you should carry yourself in such a way that you are making God proud of you, not saddened by you. Is God proud of you when you are cussing up a storm with your friends, watching R-rated films, *watching sex and violence TV?  I bet that breaks God's heart. Even though He knows that we are going to do it, I bet it saddens Him greatly when we let the world influence our actions and we desert Him.

Peter denied knowing Christ three times around Jesus' death. Peter went from being someone who at first gave in to worldly pressure, to ultimately becoming someone God used in a mighty way. And God can do the same for you, but you have to make a choice: Jesus or the world. Is there a time when you should have stood up for someone, but instead you went along with the crowd? Have you ever denied Christ by your words or actions because it was more important for you to be comfortable around your friends? And fortunately for us, God is so good that even when we've denied Him in the past and given in to the temptation of this world, he will still give us another chance. But only if you sincerely admit your mistakes, ask his forgiveness in confession, and turn away from sin.

You don't need to please the wrong types and give into the pressure; just please the Lord and fix your attention on Him and don't take your eyes off Him.  Recognize what God wants from you and then you can respond to Him. You don't have to go along with someone who doesn't care if something is right or wrong or care that it may hurt someone.  You just need to keep doing what is right and not worry what others think.  If you truly love the Lord, then don't follow Christ from a distance. Don't deny Christ by your actions. Read your Bible daily (the 4 Gospels are a good place to start). Pray daily. Wherever the pressure comes from, avoid that situation!  And surround yourself with people who will help you to grow in your faith. Stop being a coward trying to please other people rather than standing up for Jesus Christ. You can stop living like the rest of the world and start being a true follower of Christ! 

But you know what? If you call yourself a follower of Christ, you are not supposed to even care what is going on with everybody else, let alone try to go along with it.  And in the end, people will respect you more if you stand up for what you believe in. Jesus will turn things around to where even your enemies will be at peace with you. The way to reach people isn't by coming down to their level. It is by holding your head up high and standing your ground.  Your friends may come around when they see us live lives that honor God and when we refuse to bow down to peer pressure.  And what about you? Wouldn't you rather be special and unique and blessed by God instead of being just another face in the crowd? We are supposed to stand out from the crowd. Show that they weren't interested in being like everybody else.  Live your life in such a way that shows that Jesus is the only one you care about fitting in with and impressing.

You are the sum total of the choices you make. With every choice you reveal what you actually believe. There really is no confusion in figuring out who a person is and what he or she really believes...simply look at his or her choices!
Every decision tou make either brings us closer to God and His design for our lives, or moves you further from Him and His design.   Every choice is filled with opportunities for growth or for stepping backward. There are a lot of voices to which you can respond when making choices. Each voice comes from something or someone who wants you on their side.  Remember, God is calling you to choose. Which voice are you going to respond to most often in your life? Are you going to listen to those other 'gods' who are calling for you to follow them, or are you going to tune into God's frequency and follow His voice? As you think about your life today, remember how God has loved you and guided you faithfully. Then as each voice comes and wants you on thier team, choose to follow the voice that leads you onto a  path of  holiness.